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First Years of Marriage by Sean Perron & Spencer Harmon

Why should two guys who aren’t even thirty write a book on the first years of marriage?

We asked the same question. 

Neither of us has been married for longer than ten years. There is still a lot of marriage for us to experience. We’re young pastors. Our kids are young. We have just exited “the first years” of marriage ourselves. There are plenty of good resources out there on marriage already. Isn’t this presumptuous? Shouldn’t we just keep our heads down while those who have more years under their belts speak to these issues?

Surprisingly, those questions are the very reason we began writing. 

Before we say any more, let us say upfront: we know we have blindspots and immaturities. We’re not pretending to be experts. That will become obvious quickly. The chapters of our book are short, and we are ready to recommend lots of resources from authors with decades more experience than us. 

We felt burdened to start a conversation. We had just finished our “first years of marriage,” and we had started to see some typical problems and consistent patterns emerge. The early years of marriage involve unique struggles and opportunities. Most books on marriage are aimed at addressing timeless problems with timeless truths that are found in Scripture. That is always needed. But we felt burdened to offer some tailor-fit guidance for people who are in the season of marriage that we had just exited. That season is fresh on our minds. 

Picture us, then, not as veterans of marriage who are sharing sage stories of years long past. Instead, think of us as fellow soldiers in the trenches who have been here a few years longer than you have. We want to share with you what we have learned since we’ve gotten here, some pitfalls to watch out for, and a weapon that is absolutely necessary if you want to make it to victory. 

That weapon, of course, is the Bible. 

We believe that the Bible, not us, is a sufficient source of marriage advice. That means that age and experience are important, but the helpfulness of any marriage advice should be determined by how faithfully it reflects God’s Word—not whether or not it comes from someone who has been married for a long time. You can have wrinkles and yet no wisdom, and you can also be young and have lots of it. God’s Word is what makes the difference (see Ps. 119:99–101) 

Our goal in this book is not to point you to ourselves, our experience, or our advice. Our goal is to point you away from ourselves and to the only source of real help: Jesus Christ as he is revealed in Scripture. 

We wrote this book on the first years of marriage with the later years of marriage also in view. These years are deeply influential. 

The way you talk and think about sex and children and money and conflict now influences the way you’ll be talking about these things on your thirtieth anniversary. We want those conversations to be shaped by Scripture and conformed to Christ.

Our prayer is that, as you read, you will hear the familiar words of the person who is most qualified to talk about marriage—Jesus Christ (who never married)—and will forget all about us. And we also pray that, as we all listen to him, our marriages would look more and more Christlike during the first years and every year that follows. 

—Sean Perron & Spencer Harmon, Letters to a Romantic: First Years of Marriage


Books by Sean Perron & Spencer Harmon


About the Authors

Spencer Harmon serves as the campus pastor at First Baptist Church’s Nocatee Campus in Jacksonville, Florida. He and his wife, Taylor, live in Saint Johns, Florida, and have two daughters and one son.

Sean Perron (MDiv, The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary) is the associate pastor at First Baptist Church in Jacksonville, Florida. He is a certified biblical counselor who has a specialization in marriage counseling, and he was previously the director of operations at the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC). He and his wife, Jennifer, have one son.


Faithfully Hopeless by Michael Scott Gembola

To you, O Lord, belongs righteousness, but to us open shame. . . .
To the Lord our God belong mercy and forgiveness, for we have rebelled against him. . . . We do not present our pleas before you because of our righteousness, but because of your great mercy. O Lord, hear; O Lord, forgive. O Lord, pay attention and act. (Dan. 9:7, 9, 18–19)

Sometimes what hurts the most is the feeling that there is no way out of the mess you are in. Sometimes we have only ourselves to thank for being in it, and we feel very little hope. In the Bible we see pictures of God’s people in these kinds of situations, and surprisingly, we see them asking for things that seem almost too bold to ask. They have almost no hope—they even have every indication from God that they stand under judgment. And yet they come seeking Him anyway. 

In the passage above, Daniel not only confesses and grieves—he also makes a bold request. He’s saying, “Although we are responsible for the breakdown in our relationship with you, we are your people. We bear your name. We have not earned anything from you, and we are not in a place of deserving something that we can demand from you. But please, do something. If not for us, then at least for Your own sake—it has to be an embarrassment to You that the people who belong to You in a special way are the ones in ruin.”

This is the kind of relationship that God invites us to have with Him. We can ask for great things, even when we believe that we have no reason to expect good things. Daniel felt that the Word of God itself was saying “no deliverance” for seventy years (see Dan. 9:2). But his response was to ask anyway. He saw the devastation of sin, and he grieved, confessed, and asked boldly for healing. This is a strong kind of hope—for Daniel, and for us today.

—Michael Scott Gembola, After an Affair: Pursuing Restoration

Author Interview with John D. Currid

This week’s author interview is with John D. Currid. He is the author of The Case for Biblical Archaeology: Uncovering the Historical Record of God’s Old Testament People. It releases August 5th.

  • What book are you reading now? 

In academics, I am reading the excavation reports of the city of Philippi. My casual reading is Robert K. Massie’s Catherine the Great.

  • Do you have a favorite movie? 

The original True Grit. It is a story of uncommon courage against overwhelming odds.

  • Do you have a favorite quote? 

St. Augustine: “Earthly riches are full of poverty.” This saying puts the world in its proper place.

  • What advice would you give to aspiring writers? 

Do some writing every day. When I wrote my 7-volume commentary on the Pentateuch, I wrote commentary on one verse each day . . . no matter the verse. Some days of writing were long and others were short, depending on the content of the one verse. Writing is a habit.

  • Do you have an interesting writing quirk? 

Shelby Foote, the author of a three-volume series on the Civil War, wrote one page a day with a quill pen. I am not that quirky; however, I write all my works in long hand on yellow pads. I then edit the works as I put them on the computer. Dinosaur, I know . . . but writing by long hand slows me down, gives me time to think, and to see where I have been in my writing.

  • What writers inspire you most? 

They are varied, but I suppose they are the usual suspects: C.S. Lewis, Homer, all the biblical writers(!), and Faith Cook. In my field, I like the writing of the OT professor E. J. Young; he wrote simply but deeply (less is more!).

  • Favorite book of the Bible? 

Exodus. It tells the story of redemption out of darkness.

  • Favorite sport? 

Baseball. Chicago Cubs diehard fan.

  • Tea or coffee? 

Coffee!

  • How can a reader discover more about you and your work?

Faculty page: rts.edu/people/dr-john-d-currid-2/


PRE-ORDER The Case for Biblical Archaeology


The Biggest Lie about Money by Jim Newheiser

“Why do you spend your money for that which is not bread, and your labor for that which does not satisfy? Listen diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in rich food.” (Isa. 55:2)

Have you ever thought, “If we could just afford to own a home of our own, then life would be good” or “How I wish I could drive a new car instead of my old junker”? Have you ever told yourself, when you’ve felt stressed, “Perhaps if I bought myself that new electronic gadget [or pair of shoes], I would feel better”? 

We live in a culture in which people’s worth is measured by their financial success. We are told that material things will make us happy. It is easy for Christians to be affected by the spirit of our age. 

The Bible teaches that material things can be a blessing from God (see 1 Tim. 4:4). Our problem is that we can take that which is good, such as material blessings or food or sex, and put it ahead of that which is best (God). The biblical term for such distorted priorities is idolatry (see Col. 3:5). 

In Isaiah 55, the Lord reminds us that idols never satisfy. People devote their lives to gaining material riches without ever finding true happiness and peace. The billionaire Howard Hughes lived out his later years as a fearful recluse. Nathan Busenitz, a famous business titan, reportedly said, “I have made many millions, but they have brought me no happiness.”

My wife and I once lived in a prosperous Middle Eastern country. We watched people accumulate savings, travel the world, and buy expensive jewelry, cars, and houses. But their wealth did not make them happy. Nor did we see many cases in which someone said, “Now I have enough” (see Eccl. 5:10). As Isaiah says, people pour out their very lives for that which is not bread and their labor for that which does not satisfy.

The answer to materialistic idolatry is learning to find satisfaction in Christ, who is the Bread of Life (see John 6:35). He offers living water that will forever satisfy the thirst of those who drink (see John 7:37–39). And, in contrast to the costly bread of the world that can no more satisfy your soul than sawdust, Jesus offers Himself to you freely. He has paid for the feast by pouring out His life for all who will turn to Him.

Have you turned away from the bankrupt values and idolatry of the world and believed in Jesus, who satisfies our greatest need—forgiveness and restored fellowship with God? Christ died in the place of sinners and has been raised from the dead so that all who trust Him might have new, abundant life. God invites you to abandon the plastic bread of worldly wealth so that you can feast upon the rich spiritual banquet that He offers.

Perhaps you are a believer who has drifted away from Christ and toward the idolatry of worldliness. This may be why you are unsettled. As Augustine said, “You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.” The Lord invites you to return to Him so that your soul can find renewed joy and peace.

—Jim Newheiser, Money: Seeking God’s Wisdom

“God Is . . . a Husband?” by Mike McKinley

“For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and
the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth
he is called. For the Lord has called you like a wife.” (Isa. 54:5–6)

When you think about what God is like, what comes to your mind?

This is a difficult question. After all, how can limited people understand an infinite being? How can created beings comprehend what it would be like to have always existed? What does it mean for sinful people who are living in a fallen world to think well about a perfectly Holy One?

Because he is gracious, God wants to be known by the people he has created; and to that end he has stooped down to reveal himself to us. In the Bible, the Lord uses many metaphors and word pictures to help us to understand what he is like and how he relates to us. He is a King, because he rules over us and is a lawgiver (see Ps. 47). He is a Judge, in that he is the one who evaluates all our thoughts and actions (see Ps. 7:11). He is a Shepherd, for he leads his people to safety and provision (see Ps. 23).

But perhaps the most surprising and revealing image that God uses for himself in Scripture is that of a husband to his people. When God says through the prophet Isaiah that he is our husband and his people are his wife, it is a picture of the most intimate kind of knowledge and love. We know how a husband feels about his wife, and we might be tempted to wonder whether or not God, the “Holy One” and “Redeemer,” could really love his people like that. The answer, gloriously, is yes!

The fact that God refers to himself as a husband tells us something important about him and the amazing love that he has for us, but it also shows us something very important about the institution of marriage. If God is a husband, then marriage is not merely a social construct or even primarily a way for people to find companionship and start a family. Instead, marriage is fundamentally a picture of God’s love. It is a way for us to understand and display the depth and intensity of the love God has for his people.

In the end, the thing that makes a marriage a Christian marriage is not that the couple attend church together (though they should) or raise their children to know the gospel (though that is a good thing to do). At its essence, a Christian marriage should be a man and a woman who understand that they have been brought together into an intimate relationship for the purpose of learning and displaying the way that God loves us in Christ. This is a foundational truth on which to build your own marriage.

—Mike McKinley, Engagement: Preparing for Marriage