As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. (Prov. 27:17 NIV)

“I go out of my way to avoid conflict with my partner.”

It’s one of over two hundred statements on an assessment that I administer to couples to evaluate their matrimonial health. Potential responses range on a scale from “strongly disagree” to “strongly agree.” I’ve found that the most common response is “strongly agree.” In other words, couples love avoiding conflict.

This is bad for at least three reasons. 

First, conflict avoidance is typically rooted in idolatry. If you’re consciously fleeing marriage conflict, it’s usually because you’re worshipping a false god. Take Mark as an example. When he would critique his wife Emily during their first few years of marriage, she would instinctively criticize him back—often to a harsher degree. She would raise her voice, call him names, and manipulate the conversation to make everything his fault. Things would rapidly spiral out of control, leaving him agitated, anxious, and upset. To avoid feeling this way, he stopped correcting her. When she sinned against him, he would shut his mouth and put a smile on his face. He chose serenity over her sanctification and harmony over her holiness. He avoided conflict with Emily because he was worshipping the idol of peace.

Second, conflict avoidance is bad because God uses conflict to sharpen us—to make us more like Christ. Proverbs 27:17 (NIV) says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” How does a metalworker use iron to sharpen iron? First, he heats a dull, jagged piece until it becomes ductile. He then takes a cold, sharp piece and uses it to cut a straight line along the molten piece’s edge to eliminate its surface irregularities. When the molten piece cools, it has a brand-new sharp edge. In a similar way, our skilled metalworker (God) uses intense heat (marriage conflict) to “melt” us. He then takes a cold, knifelike piece of iron (our spouses) and, through a process of calculated cutting (confrontation and admonishment), sharpens (sanctifies) us. When we avoid conflict, we miss out on being sharpened by our spouses and by God. 

Finally, conflict avoidance is bad because it contradicts the conflict- saturated life and ministry of Christ. Jesus confronted sin (John 2:13–16). He challenged hypocrisy and wrong belief among influential religious leaders (Matt. 23). He even said to his good friend Peter, “Get behind me, Satan!” (Matt. 16:23). Ultimately, he faced the conflict of the crucifixion and willfully endured it to obey his Father and save his followers. He entered conflict out of love for God and love for others.

Will you do the same in your marriage?

—Steve Hoppe, Marriage Conflict: Talking as Teammates

---

Preface to 2 Timothy

Each book in the Reformed Expository Commentary series is designed to assist pastors as they preach and teach Scripture, but 2 Timothy is for pastors twice over, for Paul writes as apostle and pastor to Timothy, his primary successor, as he faces the end of his ministry—indeed, the end of life itself. The epistle therefore contains Paul’s reflections on his ministry as it ends and his instruction to Timothy as his ministry begins in earnest. His convictions pour out in all directions: 

• “Do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord nor of me his prisoner” (2 Tim. 1:8). 
• “You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus” (2:1). 
• “Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus” (2:3). 
• “Remember Jesus Christ . . . . If we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself” (2:8, 13). 
• “Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies” (2:23). 
• “The Lord’s servant must . . . be . . . able to teach, . . . correcting his opponents with gentleness” (2:24–25). 
• “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work” (3:16–17). 
• “Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season” (4:2). 

Second Timothy has a bracing urgency, a lack of pretense, born of the situation. Paul expects to die soon, and Timothy, an imperfect man, must take up the reins of leadership, whether he is ready or no. He has one last chance to see his spiritual son—“Do your best to come to me soon” (2 Tim. 4:9). He has one last chance to look his friend in the eye, one last chance to address a man upon whose shoulders a great part of the church will rest. And we get to listen. 

Second Timothy is a short epistle and little studied. I hope to change that, slightly, by offering it to you, my readers, and by urging you to share it with each other and the church. The book’s brevity (eighty-three verses) and relative simplicity (compared, for example, to Romans) allow the commentator the luxury of addressing matters that might have to be skipped in other circumstances. The amazing vice list in chapter 3 comes to mind. More than that, however, I offer Paul’s testimony as his coda, and perhaps yours and mine: “The time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith” (2 Tim. 4:6–7). May you and I say the same, one day, as God strengthens us by his grace. 

—Daniel M. Doriani, coauthor, 2 Timothy & Titus

---

Preface to Titus

The influence of the apostle Paul on evangelical churches cannot be doubted. Ever since Martin Luther, the books of Romans and Galatians have formed the spine of the Protestant gospel. It is a curious inconsistency, then, that the same cannot be said for the influence of Paul’s Pastoral Letters on the evangelical doctrine of the church. It is not as simple to draw a complete ecclesiology from the letters to Timothy and Titus as it is to deduce justification from Paul’s more famous letters. Nonetheless, the Pastoral Epistles drive stakes in the ground that outline a vital foundation for apostolic church structure and practice. From this perspective, we can appreciate the great importance of Paul’s Spirit-inspired letters to Timothy and Titus. From his clear teaching on the qualifications and functions of elders and deacons to the crucial role of clear doctrinal standards, Paul’s instructions to his pastoral colleagues are of enormous value to church leaders today. 

Beyond its contribution to a sound ecclesiology, Paul’s epistle to Titus deserves to be deeply loved by God’s people for its display of manifold colors of grace and love amid the struggles of ministry. It is also a tough and realistic instruction that faces head-on the dangers of false teaching, cultural accommodation, and human sin. Paul believed that Christian leaders must employ sound spiritual authority in protecting the flock, relying above all on the sheer power of biblical truth. Finally, the warmth and shared commitment enjoyed by Paul and his associates inspire the servants of Christ today to a comradeship in gospel ministry that is sorely lacking but will both strengthen and sweeten our vital labors in the cause of the gospel. 

—Richard D. Phillips, coauthor, 2 Timothy & Titus

---

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. (Ps. 103:2–5) 

The degree to which we rejoice in God’s forgiveness of us will be the degree to which we are able to forgive others. It is difficult to forgive when we lose sight of God’s amazing grace. Today let’s remember who God is and what he has done for us! 

Psalm 103 celebrates God’s love. King David, the writer of the psalm, begins with shouts of praise: “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits” (vv. 1–2). Can you feel the heart-swell of David’s words as he exhorts himself (“O my soul”) to praise God? He is caught up in gratitude for all that God has done. 

Throughout the entire psalm, David reminds his soul of God’s steadfast love. In verses 3–5, he recalls the many benefits of knowing the Lord: God forgives your sin, he heals your diseases, he redeems your life from hell, he shows you steadfast love and mercy, and he satisfies you with good so that you can have strength like an eagle. What an amazing God! Amen? 

It’s not surprising that David celebrates the Lord for forgiving all his sin. He is the Bible’s most famous murderer and adulterer, after all. He abused his kingly authority and suffered God’s painful judgment. So when David speaks of God’s forgiveness, he is speaking very personally. God’s amazing grace is a sweet balm to David’s soul. 

As we look at David’s life story, found in 1 Samuel 16 through 1 Kings 2:11, we find that he was quintessentially human. He soared to high highs of faithfulness and plummeted to low lows of selfishness, just like you and me. David experienced God amidst his victories, and he also experienced God amidst his sins. The Lord walked alongside him—supplying courage, wisdom, seasons of discipline, and ultimately forgiveness and restoration. As David grew in his relationship with the Lord, he could not help but look back at God’s love and praise him for it: “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me!” 

Can you relate to David? Have you experienced God’s presence in the highs and lows of your life? How has God shown up for you? Has he ever supplied you with what you needed at just the right time? Forgiveness? Healing? Redemption? Steadfast love? Like David, do you need to remind yourself of God’s kindness today? 

If we are to grow in our ability to forgive other people, we must first remember who God is and what he has done for us. As we meditate on God’s love and mercy, may we find our souls tender for the task of forgiveness. 

—Hayley Satrom, Forgiveness: Reflecting God’s Mercy

---

ORDER Forgiveness: Reflecting God’s Mercy

WTS Books: $5.00

CVBBS: $6.00

P&R Direct: $7.50

PCA Bookstore: $7.79

Christianbook: $7.49

Amazon: $9.99

---